Two-thousand seven to be exact. Now it 2 years later, and I have gained 20 pounds and lost 2 ovaries. Life is alot different now. I take three different prescriptions. I don't like my job anymore. Things I thought would never happen have happened. I'm able to spend more time with my daughters than I used to. I've stopped missing someone I once thought I would spend the rest of my life with. My search for what it is I believe in spiritually has resulted in the discovery that I believe in people and science and not things I can't see.
It keeps going back to this episode of CSI in which Gil Grissom is sitting in a church pew talking with a priest about religious fanaticism. This is what Grissom said and it hit me, yes! That's how I feel:
"I believe in God, in science ... in Sunday supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I should live. Light bulb goes out, other people fix it, get a new one. Light bulb goes out for the Catholic he stands in the dark says, 'What did I do wrong?' That guilt's not in me anymore. ...How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How many people died because of someone's religion?"
I believe in a god if the word "god" is synonymous with the word "love." My god doesn't judge, doesn't punish or hate or condemn. I don't know if I'm an athiest, but you know what? I'm actually not uncomfortable being called one.
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